This morning I woke up with a song in my head again. As I opened my eyes I heard these lyrics: ” Some people want diamond ring. Some just want everything” Because I know this song, I found myself just kinda patting my foot as I realized I didn’t know the lyrics. Also, I thought it was strange because I don’t really care for the artist. Well, I got up and went about my day, and a few hours later it popped in my head again; so I decided to look up the song and artist. Once I looked at the lyrics I began to cry. It was another moment that I realized I’d been Stoned. I love you too baby…. Just so you know, I don’t have nothing without you….Do what you think is best. Forever, For Always, For Love.
For the past 3 yrs, I’ve been stoned. I’ve been completely stoned from the energy of my twin. Why do I say I’ve been stoned? Well, because this experience has been completely intoxicating to the point of being energetically stoned. If you’ve read my blog? you’ll see some of the “strange experiences ” that I’ve shared. Sometimes, when I’ve shared my experience, I felt that if I were listening to my story, I’d think this lady must be on drugs. Truly, It sounds so Crazy… So I’ve decided to call this whole 3 and a half yr experience as being Stoned. However, there is another stone that applies to this connection.
For instance, being Stoned to death. Sometimes, I feel as though I’ve been energetically stoned by my twin this way. The intensity of some messages have felt exactly this way. Now, there is one more type of Stone that can be used to describe my experience. I’ve posed a song by The Supremes entitled Stoned Love. Surely, some of the lyrics appropriately describe some of my feelings.
I’ve been STONED, STONED, STONED STONED!!!!!!
I love today… I’m very thankful that I’m here in awareness. I must admit, I’m not big on all the planetary stuff. I leave that to most of my friends. In any event, I’m excited and ready for the next phase of my life. My family and I are healthy, and that’s a major blessing. My twin isn’t doing as well as I understand, but I remain optimistic about that as well. Having said that, happy today…
About a half hour ago, I came in from the store. While I was putting things away, I suddenly felt my twin. I could hear him saying he no longer wants to live. I could feel his despair & his tears. I began to tremble inside as I listen to him. I quietly comforted him, but felt it wasn’t enough. I asked within for guidance on what to do. I was guided to come forward and send him an ecard immediately. I asked for the words to say to him. I was guided to say… I “My heart is open, My love is eternal..When you’re ready, I’m here for you…. Sincerely. I gave him my contact info….Wow… I hope he feels better
After my last post, I’ve began to try to process some of energetic hits I get from my twin. I say that because there have been many more things that are just to private to post. But this current hit, about the disease was even more clear than any other hit I’ve ever received. Then the confirmation came in undeniable proof that just left me speechless. Because I was crying and have been so emotional about it, I thought I’d share what it is that has me so upset. Well he has an incurable disorder (not aids) that diminishes his life to death with 3-5 yrs. But I wonder why do I have to know this? Why do I have to be away from him? Why tell me and expect me to do nothing? Why? Why? Why in the hell do I have this connection that has me. I can no longer doubt this exchange. I can’t run from it, and yet I’ve tried. I’m hurting because of the message. I feel so alone… Just waiting for the bottom to fail out… Everyday & nite I wonder how he’s doing in all areas of his life… Not well, suppose. Will I ever see him, or will I spend the rest of my life wondering what this was all about. Tonight, I just don’t know… I just don’t know…. All I know is Love. This love was put in my heart before I was ever aware of it…. This love has a life of it’s own…
Today, and for the past week and a half, I’ve been somewhat in a fog. Something is so heavy in my heart. As I write this ,I’m tossed about with strong emotions. At about 3:00 am Thursday October 13, 2011. My twin woke me up energetically and told me he has a disease. I asked if he had pain or discomfort, and he showed me energetically on my body. I felt energy in both arms, the heals of my feet, both legs, my hands, the back of my head, and down the center of my back ( crying) I’m sobbing… because he’s been given a death sentence!!!! First he’ll suffer really terribly and then he’ll die…. oh my god!!! All I can do is cry… I’m hurting because I want to be with him .. holding him and just look in his eyes….ohhh god!!! help us help…. Hear me my love just hear my heart full of tears….
Like everyone else, I get a little fatigued with this connection. What I mean by that is I’ve adjusted my life on many levels since this connection. Now I think I’ve come to a sort of acceptance for the lack of better words. I’ve done some amazing work on myself, and my twin. Some of the work as been intense, and some of the work has been painful. So at this point in the connection, I’ve finally relaxed and accepted that everything is as it should be. I’ve asked for guidance in re-establishing my life. I’m happy with the answers I’ve gotten, and I’m ready to move forward. I’ve decided to date and get out to meet interesting people. Now the funny thing about this latter part is that EACH AND EVERY TIME the word “DATE” COMES INTO MY THOUGHTS. I’ve gotten strong energetic resistance from my twin. This time, however, I didn’t really get anything as I have started to act on the idea. Well, this morning was a surprise . When I woke up I could feel my twin trying to tell me something. It felt urgent and I responded. ” What is it twin? What are you trying to tell me?” I said out loud. I didn’t get anything so I got up fixed myself some coffee and went to computer to check my emails. I got an email from a friend that had a dream about my twin. She said she was sitting in front of a mirror meditating but her reflection wasn’t in the mirror it was my twin, and he was trying to give her a message for me. And in her dream she was trying to tell me what he wanted but she couldn’t remember. Oh boy… I thought silently. what’s next… I thought I’d moved forward. Well I decided I should sit quietly and connect with him. I sat in my comfy chair and began to quiet my mind. When I began to feel his energy, I asked him. “Where are you?” I heard. “London” I continued in disbelief and said “you’re not in London?”. I suddenly had this overwhelming urge to look it up on google. I got up and to my surprise… He was certainly there. I nearly fell off the chair. and I said to him… “I can’t believe you do this.” He replied sounding irritated with me. “Ohhh! How long have we been doing this? And you still fall over.”